21st Century Suicide Doll

I have been fascinated with suicide ever since my mother had let go of life from the seventh floor window of her lover's bathroom. It has always seemed so strange to me that a woman would squeeze herself out through a bathroom window into a lamented, but inevitable death.

She would leave behind so many lies that her life in passing would be more akin to fiction than a life lived in. The coroner called it suicide, the investigation called it murder and my father left his life behind in a hotel room on the Sunset Strip, six months on. They were both 63 years old.

But being alive is free. And for a short while, we conquer death with it. And so, if we are to be inspired by life, we would do well to pay attention. I say go chew upon the full palette of its emotions. ‘21st Century Suicide Doll’ is made of this.

Written and performed by me. Piano and production by Otto Omori.

Album cover by Isis.

Available on all streaming platforms.

Released 11 September 2023

Track Listing

21st Century Suicide Doll

Oh Life
We gotta love you
And the lies and the cocaine and the lovers you abuse
And I read all your friends that convince us we’re free
I’m a martyr in your bed
Let go of me

And my diary is full of the things I didn’t say
And I watched ‘em jump off the Brooklyn bridge
That’ll be me some day
I put on my face and I put up my heart
I smear lipstick over my mouth and detune your harp

And I’ll throw myself from the balcony wherever you are
I’m the 21st century suicide doll
Beautifully embedded in the roof of your car

So I spilled your pearl necklace and swallowed all your gold
And if you tell me to jump out the window
Oh I won’t do as I’m told
And to the friends that left before me
I’ll see you when I’m broke
I'm gonna miss orgasm
Orgasms and smoke

So I turned up the war room fighting inside of me
And destiny reached on your balcony
I put on my face and I put up my heart
To my last work of life
I leave you my art

And I’ll throw myself from the balcony wherever you are
I’m a 21st century suicide doll
Beautifully embedded in the roof of your car

And I’ll throw myself from the balcony wherever you are
I’m a 21st century suicide doll
Beautifully embedded in the roof of your car

×

Just So You Know

Been thinking about you
Now that we’re done

Just so you know
I’m sorry
For the people we’ve become

And I know
What I did
And what I’ve done

Breathtaking moments of love
Now makes me cry

The moonlight and our children
Make people happy just walkin’ by

And I know what we lost
And the stupid reason why

Just so you know

And just so you know

And you know
And I know
That love came to stay

And you know and I know
We gave it away

And just so you know

And just so you know

×

Careful What You Do With Your Mouth

Careful what you do with your mouth
And your choice's not a sacrifice
Its yours make it a beautiful life

The humans are comin’ and they’re gonna do
What nature does all over you

They gonna give you orgasm and murder
They know you break cry and you bleed
And their Gods give the excuses they need

The humans are coming
They’re gonna find ya
And crawl all over you

Careful what you do with those beautiful lips
We escape murder at least for a while
You bring a love letter to a knife fight

The humans are coming
Make no mistake they’ll pull you out alive

×

Bird

Somebody help me out
Somebody I don’t know
Somebody break out in love
Somebody pull me out with a rainbow
Somebody shout my name in a crowd
Somebody dig this road with me
Somebody hear my voice
Somebody watch me bleed
When I’m gone
Oh you’ll know I’ve been

Somebody come make me fly
And I’ll have to wait until then
Somebody fill my love
And somebody feel my pen
Somebody let me in
Somebody hear me out
Somebody touch my soul
Somebody feel me shout
When I’m gone
Oh you’ll know I’ve been

This is how I speak to the world
Somebody I’m a poet unmanned
Shipwrecked and drifting at sea
Shine a light so my boat can find land
Somebody unclip my wings
Somebody set free my bird
When it isn’t so hard being me
I’ll know
That you’ll know
I’ve been heard
When I’m gone
Oh you’ll know I’ve been

×

Both Sets Of Tears

Be yourself or the world will define you
That’s 'bout all I know
Sorrow and happiness haunts your years
Life requires both sets of your tears
Bring ‘em with you when you go

All our children finding beautiful wings
Let 'em dance let the bitter people doubt
Stop twisting evidence to fit belief
Medication generation where’s the beef
Tears are nature's remedy let it out

Hey you think you deserve more than being born
Street cars playing manufactured porn
There’ll be peace and there’ll be death
There’ll be lies and we’ll confess
Bring both sets of your tears along

Doctors removed a live grenade from a young mans chest
Round the operating table they held their breath
And I don’t know why it is
The whole world blooded over this
The oath of human life we test

And your life is all your ever gonna know
That’s not all you ever gonna be
And your life is all your ever gonna know
But bring along both sides of your tears

×

So Commercial

A man can take off his shirt
And walk bare chested
Through the streets of the world
But woman cannot
Who’s protecting whom from what
Porcelain actors become pharaohs
And you applaud
And applaud
And they die on you
Hole in the world
Heart gotta fill it
Leaders and Gods
Are a game with no end
Lost to the living
Found by the dead
Go your own way
Have you lost
The ability to be hungry
It's extreme
What we think we deserve
Yeah
Bees will drink your tears
For some
Privilege
Is a stable full a horses
Nobody asked for
She said
Life is a magnificent work
We broke so many rules
Just to get here
Careful what you wish for
Fire
Has made more men king
Than money
You can’t turn business
Into poetry
Its not a sentence
Upgrade us
In kindness
Life’s not a warning
Mirrors are for four year olds
Fame is morally stupid
And sex
What a waste of wisdom
Pleased to meet ya
Some are hungry
Better feed em
Birth canal
It was an honour
Truth is not an agenda
There is always a reason
Done with stupid
Your song
So commercial it's touching

×

Candle Like Fuck

The hangin’ judge said it's the parents who deserve to die
And I don’t know what to do with this day
And every second a good man takes his own life
And I’m looking for a candle like fuck to light the way

And I sacrifice myself to become a legend
Cigarettes and drugs and bottles of booze
And I gone blind one side of my heart
These days the great depression brought on by news

I found this old record Jagger singing like God
Internet down church lights out cross the street
Ghosted rooms filled with old timer spiritual blues
And the lights won’t come on divinity got the Devil to meet

Piano out from the weight of the storm
And they’re changing all the words of the songs everybody knew
And I can’t move with this girls shadow on me
And I’m searching for a candle like fuck for you

Mister congressman the family is all the same
And all the colour of money in the world won’t make it fair
The great new depression people lynchin’ alone
Know sometimes the Devil himself needs a prayer

×

Beautiful And Primitive

We’re a carnival of souls singin’ to you
We are what the mouth leaves behind
Spent my life looking for clues
We’ll be immortal on the songs we breathe

Beautiful and primitive
My pages are filled with this
You're alive
Be alive
And that’s it

And it's written on the caves and on the babies of us all
Like an idiot prayer delivered by lust to love
Don’t give a damn what religion and borders tell you
Our bodies are the script of universal blood

Beautiful and primitive
My pages are filled with this
You're alive
Be alive
And that's it

There’s beauty in a mouth that cries
You better see to that alone
That’s it
And don’t find the time
Time not worthy of life
And that’s it

And it's found in itself and in the private life of trees
And from the forces of the universe we collectively sing
Woman on a tube scared and all the men stand up
The tiny moments of monumental things

Beautiful and primitive
My pages are filled with this
You're alive
Be alive
And that’s it

×

You Made Paterson Cry

And I don’t know if love is real
You gotta trust someone on that
They say you broke Paterson's heart
It’s the madness we lack

Trust what you feel not what you see
This is wine and those are drugs
Imagination down and porn fed
Rudimentary techniques of love

And we all know where you live
And I challenge you to die
You hungry out a heart
You made Paterson cry

Your steinway lit but never played
Share my bottle it's alright
We heard that you cried
Come feel us die

Where you’re from is over
Paterson is late
Where your goin’ ain’t arrived
And where you're at is up for debate

Oh we need mouths to kiss
Lovers and lonely know this
Save us in time
Parents be kind

×

Gonna Need It

I don’t know where you're going
You better take this
And I don’t know where you live
But you’ll need to be kissed
And I know a little about love
You're gonna need it

I don’t know what you're making
But you gotta sing it with all your heart
Don’t know ‘bout you and your little ones
But you gotta finish what you start
And I know a little about love
You're gonna need it

I don’t care ‘bout ya’ gender
Or the price of your boat
And I don’t care about you or your bottom line
Or the size of your hope
I know a little about love
You’re gonna need it

And I don’t know 'bout your wedding vows
Or what the stupid leader said
And I don’t know the shit you believe
Or the size of ya acrobatic bed
I know a little about love
You gonna need it

×

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